The Garden Fresh Podcast
The Garden Fresh Podcast
21. Mary Kate Gardner - Navigating The Twists and Turns of Adulting
Have you ever found yourself contemplating the intricacies of adulting? From navigating relationships, coping with unexpected scenarios to dealing with a toxic workplace, we've all been there. On this podcast, my wife Mary Kate, a clinical mental health therapist, joins me to share her insights on these subjects, drawing from her rich experience in the field.
Imagine coming home to find a car rolled into your driveway, damaging your vehicle and leaving a mess of knocked-over trash cans. This week we take fan submissions that lead to some interesting scenarios to think about. One submitter, found himself in this exact predicament. But what happened next will not only make you chuckle but also get you thinking about actions and their consequences. Married to a single parent? Ever been in a room with an immature adult at the workplace? We discuss these and more, providing a fresh perspective on the dynamics of relationships, the workplace, and the quirks of life.
We cap off the episode with an amusing tale of an unexpected guest during a family vacation - a 420 festival. We explore the implications of such a situation if we had children present and also discuss the concept of homeschooling while traveling. This episode is a melting pot of insights, experiences, and laughs. Join us and Mary Kate as we traverse through these intriguing pathways of life.
Okay, I'm not very good at this, or you're gonna have to.
Speaker 2:You're not just be yourself.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Alright, welcome back to the GardenFresh podcast. My name is Mason Gardner, and today we have a very special guest my new wife, mary Kate Gardner. She's on a fishing chain she's not named yet, but you know I'll get there. Yeah, we'll see. We're gonna do something different today. We have some questions we're gonna go through. We have a hotline. Don't forget to call or text that it's 501-683-9594. Leave any questions or confessions. Those would be a good thing.
Speaker 1:Confessions yeah, have people left you confessions?
Speaker 2:I mean we're gonna get into some.
Speaker 1:Oh, but people have left you. Yeah, oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's what we got going here. So Mary Kate is a mental health therapist. I am. What's your official title?
Speaker 1:I'm a clinical mental health therapist.
Speaker 2:So you got it. Yeah, I got it. It's hard to keep up with. It's a mouthful, yeah, alright, mary Kate, I don't know how to do the submissions other than just jumping into them. Just a go for it. I'm gonna read some. I'll let you read some.
Speaker 1:Are we just reacting to them?
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'll read we'll go back and forth, alright, hey, mason, it's Jake here. I recently dated a single mom and became deeply attached to her children. I made a lot of sacrifices for them, but we eventually broke up. That experience has made me wary. I know you're happily married now, but if you weren't, would you consider dating a single mother? Why, or why not? Hmm, wow, juicy, right off the spot.
Speaker 1:They're asking if you would.
Speaker 2:Yeah, why not Okay, if I wasn't married, yeah.
Speaker 3:Pre-marriage, that's tough.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I have dated, lightly dated some single moms, but I say that, but I never met the children.
Speaker 3:So if you call that dating.
Speaker 2:I corresponded with some single mother, Corresponded with it. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. In that time, you know, I was still kind of just rambling. I don't think I was really thinking about like settling down, but I guess at some point in me some little bit of me allowed me to.
Speaker 1:I don't know. So he's asking, just if you would date.
Speaker 2:Would you date a pre-marriage single married kid? Would you date a guy with kids?
Speaker 1:I don't know that's hard. I mean, I don't want to sound insensitive, but probably I don't know it just depends on the person. I feel like it's hard if you have a really good connection with the person and they also have kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:That's hard, but that's just a big commitment to get involved.
Speaker 2:Like drinking, yeah, you eventually break open. Now you're like those kids, or.
Speaker 1:You're in it.
Speaker 2:Attached to you.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I guess, what I would do, I guess would just continue to try to still be a part of their life if they, the mother, allowed me to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think I would kind of play it by what the mom wants and just, I guess, be respectful of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know, it's a sticky.
Speaker 1:That is a sticky, sticky one, all right.
Speaker 2:Here's another one. Hey, mason, big fan of the GardenFresh podcast Ooh, it's Emily. I've been reflecting a lot on concepts of karma lately. For me, karma has shown its presence in my life in very real ways. Whatever I've knowingly done, sorry whenever I've knowingly done something hurtful and didn't find the courage to apologize or make amends, life had a way of returning that hurt back to me, often more intensely than I could have imagined. Maybe it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I've learned never to leave things unsaid. We all deserve peace of mind. I'm curious, mason what does karma mean to you and how does it influence your life? Ooh, that's a big one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. I feel like when I was younger I thought about karma a lot. It's one of those things that really makes sense in the big picture, the macro it makes sense, but I don't think at all. I live my life that way, Doing something and thinking that, oh, get something good in return If I gave a dollar to a homeless man. I don't think it's something down the road.
Speaker 1:Do you think that if you do something bad or treat people badly, then it'll eventually come back around?
Speaker 2:No, I feel like you may feel that way because you've probably in some form or fashion, put yourself in a bad circumstance just being a bad person. I don't know If you're a bad person. You're probably not surrounded by too many great folks. You know what I mean. It's just the cycle that you get in, I would think.
Speaker 3:Yeah, do you think about karma.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I don't really think about karma in the sense of if I do something bad, something bad is automatically going to happen to me. Also, if I do something good, something good is automatically going to happen. I do think how you interact with people and how you treat people, I think those come with consequences. Sometimes, yeah, but I don't think that's necessary. I don't think of it as karma.
Speaker 1:I also think that if this is always the case, but eventually, if you're doing all of these really shady things, I feel like eventually those things are going to come to the surface, come to light. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think sometimes not, but I just feel like if it's a continual pattern, with someone being like that, I feel like people are going to notice it eventually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's kind of the same page. Just surrounding yourself with bad people or good people, you're probably not going to get fucked over by somebody you can trust. Yeah, I think that you could, I guess people have never done. You never know. I don't know. I mean, karma is obviously a part of the Buddhist religion, right? So it's just another kind of constructed thing to make people kind of aware of their morals.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, yeah, which I mean we're probably not doing it justice, because I know probably in Buddhism it's something way deeper than probably we know it to be. That's true?
Speaker 2:Yeah, at least so from what we know of karma.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, no, no. I'm just saying there's probably a lot of underlying meanings that we don't know about with that. That's a lot more complex than that you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah for sure, speaking of that, we don't have Wyatt in the building. I thought maybe it would be a little less nerve wracking for you to not have a warrior.
Speaker 1:An audience of one person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so Thank you. Wyatt will be back next episode. So, anyways, he's missed. He's missed. Yes, I don't know. I just feel like I could be naively saying this, but I feel like we are kind of we grow up kind of learning rights and wrongs just throughout life and like some people call it one thing, some people call it another thing, and like I know, not to kill somebody, not because I think something bad is going to come to me if I, or something good is going to come to me if I don't kill somebody, it's just yeah.
Speaker 2:You apparently know that, that's wrong Apparently or conditioned just through life yeah that's true, you know. All right On to the next one.
Speaker 1:That's a good one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was All right. Here's another one. Hey, Mason, it's Alex here, a long time listener of the GardenFresh podcast. Growing up, I used to naively believe that everyone always had to act together, but as I matured I realized we're all just trying our best, navigating through the lives ups and downs. It was a humbling realization for me, mason. I've been curious about this for a while. What's one opinion of yours that's totally flipped as you grew older? Would love to hear about it on the show. What's one thing that has flipped as I've been? I mean that, right there, just thinking like adults knew what they were talking about. Yeah, you know what I mean. How many fucking adults told me what to do when I was little and I just was like you know what?
Speaker 2:I mean they just went along with it. I mean, I've seen you fall now, like now, that if you know about them now, or if they were, you're like oh, this dude's kind of you know no. Oh, I don't know, I think for me it was just like oh, kind of thinking, like I knew how things were like.
Speaker 2:I thought I had it all like figured out, like not figured out, I just thought I was smarter than I was. Yeah, I mean now, like as you grow older, you just realize like oh shit, I don't know anything, like this world is so big and you don't know anything yeah.
Speaker 2:I think that was kind of like a maybe not a hard pill to swallow, but like an interesting, like realization to come to. I think that's when I really like started listening to, like more educational podcasts, because I was like, oh shit, I don't know anything, I want to learn more shit but yeah, was that like?
Speaker 1:what age? Like coming out of college?
Speaker 2:yeah, probably yeah yeah, I started, like some reason started listening to NPR and just like learning about like worlds, economics and shit that I'd like never even thought about. You know, yeah, and just like problems going on in the world, that it's like you live in your little bubble, thinking like you know how the world's working. You know everything, you know it's just like all kind of like.
Speaker 2:When you start piecing all that together, you realize how much you don't understand about life and stuff. You know, oh yeah, do you have a thing that you realize? That you got older, that you thought was different?
Speaker 1:I mean I think like especially during grad school, like going to grad school really like open my perspective on things, I think, and just like how well, just like realizing that everyone is, has their, has their own trajectory in their life, and like it's just, everyone is so different and there's, everyone has a different story, and just like I don't know navigating that and realizing like, oh you know, I think it just puts things into perspective yeah sure just kind of realizing that people focus on themselves and not like yeah well, just like I mean, because you know I did my internships and stuff and that's like when I like started seeing clients and stuff and like that was really scary because I was like I don't know what I'm doing at all.
Speaker 1:I still feel like that a lot of the times. It's like you really just kind of are thrown into it and kind of have to, you know, figure it out, and we have I have supervision and things like that, thank God. But yeah, I think for me it was really really intimidating and scary to like sit with people with like real stuff and I think that I think combination of that and then also just being in grad school and kind of like the more academic side, because I was seeing clients and also taking classes too. So I think it really just expanded. Like what I thought I knew was not how it actually is in the real life. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like what you learn in school versus how you actually are and live in. The world is different.
Speaker 2:You know for sure, it's kind of on the same page there yeah, I mean no one.
Speaker 1:I don't think anyone really knows what I was gonna say. I don't think anyone knows what they're doing. I don't think that's true. I think people have figured out to I mean figured out how to do things, obviously, and maybe they just do a better job of making it seem like they do.
Speaker 2:I don't know yeah, let's go with that. Okay, all right, here's another one. Hey, mason, it's Clare. Oh, and now we listen every garden fresh podcast. I've got a dilemma. Our roommate and I have been close friends since our teenage years. We've been living together for about six years. As time has passed, she's become well lazy, especially when it comes to housework. Despite my suggestions of using paper utensils to lessen the tour load, she insists on buying fancy $200 dish shut buying a fancy $200 dish shut. And here's the kicker when she leaves her dirty dishes in the sink for days, I toss them out. Hmm, I can't bear the thought of cleaning up after her all the time, but I feel guilty about the waste. I'm considering not renewing the lease. What you take on this, should I confront her or maybe find a way to mend the situation with love?
Speaker 1:insight on the show so she throws away her 200 dishes, like throw them out, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean it's pretty fucking petty, but I mean.
Speaker 2:I've definitely lived with some fucking grubby roommates where, like I've made like chore charts and shit to hang up on the fridge, that didn't go well, like nobody fucking gave a fuck about it. So I had one roommate that was particularly like kind of nasty but usually kept it to himself and one night me and some friends were gonna go out to a bar and this dude had went out of town and when he left he left a full pan of chicken nuggets. He like he dumped a whole bag of chicken like probably 50 chicken nuggets on this like pan and just left and they were on the other one. I got home after work one day are there bugs everywhere no, it was just like.
Speaker 2:Like he said he cooked them at lunch, had to leave, left them there. It was just like he was gonna be gone all weekend. Well, one of my friends fucking took the pan and just set it on his bed in his bedroom, just left it in the back. I don't. I mean, I was on around when he got home so I mean.
Speaker 1:I would suggest is having a conversation with her first. Start there and just see how she responds. You're like, hey, well, it sounds like they've had a conversation maybe not oh, it said that they've had a conversation, but it says like she suggested, using paper plates and shit.
Speaker 2:So. But maybe the conversation needs to be in a different tone, like, hey, I'm not gonna live with you any longer. It can't be cleaner.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, I think she should know, like, what she's doing. I think she should be made aware, so that way she's, she just decides to move out, she's not totally blindsided. You know what I mean. I don't think that's great. Yeah, that's tough, though. Messy roommates are hard. I lived in a house with seven girls in college and that was interesting fun yeah yeah. I did a chore chart one time, but no one ever it's like it works for like a day we know it wasn't a chore chart.
Speaker 1:We had a goal. Everyone like made a goal that they wanted to accomplish every week, and I don't. I don't think I. I think I did it one time and then never again that's funny yeah, it didn't generate one sure.
Speaker 1:Hey, mason, it's Brian here love tuning into the GardenFresh podcast each week. So I had this wild situation and I'm not proud of my reaction. I came out of my house and found a car park so close to mine. It was actually touching and, worse, it had knocked over my trash cans and left a bit of damage on my car. The immediate frustration made me well squirt mustard on their head, but then, when I tried to leave, their car rolled and bummed into mine again. I had to dash and the car ended up resting against my roommates vehicle. I've been feeling guilty and anxious all day. I guess revenge didn't give me this house faction I imagined. How would you handle the situation? Any ideas on what to do about a car that just seems to roll freely down the street?
Speaker 1:would be interesting to hear your take okay so he squirted mustard on their head because the other car was parked too close the car was his car the car hit his car though he said he came out and found a car parked so close to mine. It was actually touching and it had knocked over my trash cans and left damage on my car, so he squirted mustard on their hood. Interesting choice oh yeah, but then when I tried to leave, their car rolled and bumped into mine oh so again wait what so it was like a neutral because it was a neutral.
Speaker 1:I have a lot of questions about this. So many drunk like what is going on okay so how would? You handle that situation if you came out?
Speaker 2:I wish we could ask this person questions, but I don't know. I mean I would. If I had damage on my car, I would probably fucking not be happy. You know like mm-hmm. I would let that bitch roll down the road or whatever you know yeah or I guess, call the cops right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was my first thought, Like if it's damaged.
Speaker 2:Yeah, call the cops.
Speaker 1:Any ideas about what to do about a car that she seems to roll freely down the street?
Speaker 2:Call the cop, that's rolling down the street. I feel like if the cops get there and it's like touching your vehicle, that would be considered an accident, right? Yeah, I'm just yeah. And then they would have that car towed. If it's a body of property, yeah, I would call the cops. Yeah.
Speaker 1:A lot of questions in that situation. Yeah, Like first of all, why Was it just freely rolling? Mm-hmm I don't know, I don't know about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they had to have put it in the truck or something.
Speaker 1:Call the police and not don't squirt mustard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't want to mustard Because the mustard could cause more problems.
Speaker 1:Like somebody come out and be like what the fuck it's like slashing your tires Like he actively had to make the decision to like go in his house find.
Speaker 2:Unless he just had mustard packets in his car.
Speaker 1:I mean maybe, yeah, I don't know Whatever All right, let's do the next one.
Speaker 1:Okay, but can you imagine, like those little tiny mustard packets you're having to like? Yeah, anyway, do you want me to read another one? Yeah, okay. Hey, raisin, it's Danielle. Absolutely love listening to the Garden Crash podcast. Let's go, I have a lot of fans here, so here's a midnight mishap for you. The other night my stomach was growling at 2 am. Living with my mom, I tried to sneak upstairs for some Oreos and Cheetos, balancing my snack haul and my pricey MacBook. I was tiptoeing back down when I thought I heard my mom's door. I panicked. I ducked, causing my laptop to take a dramatic tumble down the stairs. The irony mom wasn't even awake. Worst part, she thinks our dog knocked it off the table. Have you ever had one of those middle of the night snack runs go horribly wrong. How would you handle the aftermath?
Speaker 2:First of all, how old is this person? I don't know. Still living at home? I mean, if you're still living at home that's an adult, I mean like a teenager.
Speaker 1:I guess it sounds like a teenager if you're bringing up Oreos and Cheetos.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because as an adult, you wouldn't have to sneak.
Speaker 1:Right? I would like to think so Like if you're 25.
Speaker 2:You wouldn't have to sneak that. You're coming up the stairs with Oreos, you know so.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh my, so she broke her MacBook. And she thinks her Thinks the dog did it.
Speaker 2:The mom thinks the dog did it Well, you dodged a bullet. Maybe the mom will buy you another MacBook. I don't think I would say anything, I'd just be like oh yeah, dog, Maybe the mom will buy you another MacBook because her dog fucked your MacBook up.
Speaker 1:So I would just stick with it. Yeah, I don't think I would say anything unless like she's I don't know going to yell at the dog and I would feel kind of bad, yeah, but morally you should probably buy your own MacBook.
Speaker 3:Just be like since you did it Like.
Speaker 2:Well, like, since you broke it, like you should probably try to replace them. Unless you are a child, I guess, or a teenager, and you pay them any money?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm going to assume it's a teenager. Yeah, In my head like a high schooler or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Just you know, don't make your poor mom buy the new laptop.
Speaker 1:Have you ever had a situation like that happen, where something happened and you blamed it on someone else?
Speaker 3:And, like your mom, believed you.
Speaker 2:I'm not my mom, but I'm sure I have Like at work or something like something went wrong. I was just like fuck.
Speaker 1:You let someone else take the time for it.
Speaker 2:I don't know. You know, I'm sure I have. I'm a kind of rascal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can see you doing that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you too. You can see me doing that your first thought was yeah. I wouldn't say oh well.
Speaker 3:I'm going to say dog yeah.
Speaker 1:Like if Winnie, oh Jean, if I did something and you thought Jean did it, you would let Jean have the dog, probably. I don't know, not Winnie. Yeah, I don't know. It depends on what it is.
Speaker 3:Mm, hmm, okay.
Speaker 1:Hey Mason, it's Sarah. I've been loving the GardenFresh podcast. It's become a regular listen for me. My goodness, so many people, so many fans. I've got this issue. I'm hoping you might have some insight on my younger brother who's 39. Oh, no Listener.
Speaker 2:Oh, don't, Don't be great Okay sorry, sorry.
Speaker 1:My younger brother, who's 39, always acts like he knows everything. We're close, but every conversation feels like a debate. If I don't agree with him, he turns passive aggressive, making interactions just straining. How do you handle someone you care about but he constantly needs to be right? Would really appreciate some advice.
Speaker 2:Oh, those are the worst. They're probably also with me at the same time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, hey, that sounds a little familiar. You're not passive aggressive, though you just like to argue, I can be yeah. I can be, I feel like I can be pretty passive, aggressive sometimes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure. Yeah, it's weird when it's your brother, because I feel like you have a little more leeway with kind of talking to him. If it's like a coworker or somebody you don't really know, like your friend's girlfriend or something, it's kind of hard to be like yo yeah.
Speaker 1:Because, I don't know, those people are no fun to talk to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like every conversation is like a debate. They are leading in that and they're trying to preach to you about something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wonder what would happen if they just didn't even they just kind of rolled with it, like whatever they said. They'd be like oh yeah.
Speaker 3:You're right.
Speaker 1:Like I don't know, kind of defuse it. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Or you could probably ask everybody that's known me in my life see how to do it.
Speaker 3:That's why I do it yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I mean, I feel like it's just constantly you're going to have to like have real conversations with people. I know that's harder, easier said than done, like going back to that person earlier. It's like with the roommate it's like those conversations suck, but it's like usually it's somewhat of a step forward after the conversation's over. At least the other person knows you're aware and or like fresh yeah. You know, even if they don't change it. If they don't change and know, you're aware that it's frustrating you.
Speaker 2:They're even more of an asshole. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think you kind of just have to pick your battles with those kind of people.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like you kind of have to go into every conversation being like, okay, am I mentally prepared to be in this conversation with them and if not, I wouldn't even like engage in a conversation with them. Like give us to the point where it's every conversation you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean. It's tough, though, if it's like somebody you have to be around.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, I don't know how often they talk, but yeah, and a sibling.
Speaker 2:like are you going to shut your sibling out? Yeah, I mean, maybe you do. I mean I feel like we're kind of fortunate, but I feel like there's probably a lot of people that don't have, just are not on great terms with their sibling.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That seems pretty minor, you know, but obviously frustrating here, I know yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is really frustrating.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Hmm I don't know, talk to your brother.
Speaker 2:That's all I can say.
Speaker 1:Talk to him. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:I mean, what is your advice?
Speaker 1:I would say I think you also have to protect your own piece a little bit. You know what I mean. Because if it's absolutely draining like every conversation with him, then if you're just like going into every conversation, just like arguing what's your?
Speaker 2:advice.
Speaker 1:To pick your battles with him like kind of to I don't know, I don't know like fall off your shoulders and then. Yeah, I guess I don't know what I'm trying to say. Just maybe not talk to him as much, yeah. Because, obviously to you.
Speaker 2:I mean, if it's super draining, it's like I feel like those kind of people are just I'm not saying talk to him just as like generally talking, I'm talking about like, have like a heart to heart and be like you know, oh, okay, yeah, I thought you might just like keep. No, I'm saying like, have a heart to heart and be like look, I can't be around you when you're like this, you know, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:I think that would be a good idea.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's kind of like I'm not going to say their name, but somebody we did invite to the wedding. I was like I just can't.
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. Like it just.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Have a conversation and see how that goes. And if he's like I don't understand, I don't do that, then I feel like then you can kind of start backtracking and not like engaging as much. But if he's open to it, I think then you can maybe go somewhere.
Speaker 2:Yeah, be like I'm making you aware. This is how I feel. The next thing the ball's in your court of how you you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Yeah, not like make it accusatory, just very like open.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's an excellent.
Speaker 1:Hey, mason, it's Alex Huge fan. Everyone's such a big fan. And I've got the situation at work I hope you can shed some light on. I'm only 22, but I've noticed all of my coworkers who are in their 40s act like they're still in high school. They seem to thrive on gossip and drama and lately it's been affecting my mood. I'm even considering leaving this job. Being a lead slash coordinator. Avoiding them isn't an option. Have you ever dealt with immature adults in a professional setting? Also, is this kind of behavior typical, or is it maybe just because I live in a small town?
Speaker 2:Hmm, Sounds like she's probably like college educated and she works at like a fucking grocery store Is it a girl?
Speaker 1:I don't think.
Speaker 2:she says Alex he is college educated. Okay, sorry.
Speaker 1:I just didn't know if it was a.
Speaker 2:Whoever, alex, I'm sorry if you're a man Anyway. They Okay, I mean for them to be a lead in whatever position at 22, sounds like they're above, like 40-year-olds, they're probably educated or some sort and they've got a position kind of prominence of some sort.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I could see like, could you imagine, like Like we were watching that show, bayer, that cooking show, and that there's a new? There's like a head guy who's young or everybody respects, and then he hires like another girl who's like out of a big cooking school and like now she's a boss over, like people have been there forever.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's like that dynamic of coming in, being a younger person, like having to lead older people and they're dealing with their drama and all kinds of shit and it's like you're trying to stay out of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wonder if, like the drama, if, like, they're directing it towards this person, or if it's just like they're always just like gossiping about other people and she just doesn't, or they don't like to be around it.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. I don't know. I would say you're asking if all adults are like that. I would say it depends on like what circle you're in.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Yeah, I don't think all adults are like that. They said that they're in a small town.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I think you could probably speak more to this than I can.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, it's just like you kind of. It just depends on the people you're around and like those people, maybe it's only job they can get, or whatever you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's just I don't think it would be all adults. I clicked teenager. I just think like it's just probably certain like.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know I don't know.
Speaker 1:I mean, I think it depends on, like, the relationship they have with those coworkers, like if they have a good relationship with them, like if they respect this person. I feel like maybe they could have a conversation with. I don't know just surrounding and kind of mask it as like I don't know like addressing things, like oh, it's been brought to my attention that these things are happening, like well, it kind of go about it that way. I don't know if that would even do anything.
Speaker 2:It's just hard to like. I couldn't imagine, because if you're 22 and you're over like 40, 50 year olds, like they might have kids that you're yeah that's another thing.
Speaker 1:They might not even like respect.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, they might not just off of that. And it's like they should, because you have the skills to be in a position above them, but it's like yeah.
Speaker 1:It's just kind of how much they're nature is. It's two totally different working styles from different age groups, which is not bad. It's just like I feel like those can really clash sometimes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know Well, I mean, I feel like our whole economy is kind of like that, like, say, if you were to walk in like an Amazon warehouse, the age range of people that are working in that Amazon warehouse, as like the labor force, is going to be pretty wide, like young 18 to like 50, 60 year olds, just then. But all the people that are in administration are probably college educated, which those, just like Walmart, those big places, don't pay always the best, but they're a way to get your foot in the door as like an administrator coming out of college.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I get that you walk into Amazon as never worked there, but now you're somebody's boss that's 55. It's like they're not gonna. It's like I can't teach an old dog new tricks. They're not gonna respect you like right off the bat.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Even though they should.
Speaker 1:It's like Well, it's like, I get it Like.
Speaker 2:You have to prove yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I don't think the question's more about respect, it's more about just people.
Speaker 1:What do I handle it? People being? Immature right, yeah, yeah. Have you ever dealt with immature adults in a professional setting? I think, yeah.
Speaker 2:I feel like everyone has at some point I think I think mostly mine is like oh, this might be an Arkansas thing, but I doubt it. But it's just like guys just being guys like locker room talk, like being like doing stuff that's not probably appropriate for work, you know. Yeah, just talking in ways that you're like you know we don't talk, we don't say shit like that anymore. You know what I mean. It's just like old guys like saying like kind of like risque shit and you're like yeah, I probably shouldn't say that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I mean, I guess it's kind of like high school peanut like behavior.
Speaker 1:but yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I mean, I feel like it's. It's immature behavior too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like if it gets to the point where it's unbearable and you're like this is really toxic, like I am miserable working here, then find another job.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean, I know that's easier than done, but it's like you know, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I think they're just asking as a normal, you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think, yes, it is normal, I think, as you progress in your career the further you get away what?
Speaker 1:I feel like it depends on what kind of job you have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like the further you get away from the labor force, like the blue collar side not to say anything negative about that but it's like you know, there's not as many as much kind of roles holding them back from being wild, you know when, like if you're in like a kind of administrative position or like a corporate environment, like you gotta keep your shit pretty buttoned up, you know. Yeah, so I don't know what your job is, but like I think eventually you'll probably find it, depending on where you're at, kind of how the people are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's different levels to it, I feel.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:That's hard though.
Speaker 2:You ready for the next one? Sure, hey, mason, it's Jamie. First of all, I've been hooked on the GardenFresh podcast since day one, woo. Your insights have been so helpful in many situations. Wow, what an expert Speaking of which. I'm struggling with the concept of forgiveness. I'm trying to make peace with my biological father, but every fiber of my being resistant. I've tried techniques like negative reinforcement, even to the point of physically hurting myself when I get angry. Also, my recent therapist wasn't too supportive of my decision to keep my distance, so I am on the lookout for a new one. How do you navigate forgiving someone when everything in your in you doesn't want to have you or any of your guests experience something similar? Thank you for being a peek in a wisdom. Wow. Keep up the fantastic work on the show Beacon of wisdom.
Speaker 1:I'm afraid of anything.
Speaker 2:Put that on my fucking Twitter bio, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's a hard one yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, like the forgiveness thing with your biological dad, like there's a lot of questions to be asked about that, because it's like, did they harm you?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Which would she say about her other therapist?
Speaker 2:Her other therapist wasn't a fan of her, not like connected with her biological dad.
Speaker 3:No, okay.
Speaker 2:Therapist wasn't too supportive of my decision to keep my distance.
Speaker 1:Interesting. I mean we obviously don't know the details of what went on. I mean I would say if he was like abusive in any way, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, like for me, like I was never, I never had like a really super big interest in meeting my biological father and it was like it wasn't off of like some trauma shit, it was just like I'm doing fine, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I never had like a need. But I know everybody takes things differently, so it's like yeah you know, it sounds like there's. You know, maybe part of them wants to like connect, but like there's like a wall that they can't get past. You know what I mean. And that's like I guess we would need that answers the question, because like it's like, what is that wall? Is that like a abuse thing? It's like.
Speaker 2:If it is, you know, like you have you have ever right to do whatever the fuck you want to do anyways, you know what I mean. Like don't let anybody like tell you that you're obligated to do anything. You know.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:How much is your dad like reaching out to you? You know what I mean. Is that all you like thinking about this and they're not.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Trying to at all. Yeah, what do you think about the therapist thing I?
Speaker 1:don't know. I mean there's like no detail in it. So I don't know.
Speaker 2:I mean like what do you think about the therapist not being supportive of her decision to not connect with her?
Speaker 3:dad.
Speaker 1:I mean, I don't know, it depends like it just really depends on the situation. I don't know the context of this, like if I don't know. I feel like if it was a situation where she genuinely thought that it could be beneficial, but even then, like, you're really not supposed to like encourage one decision or the other.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what it's kind of, or.
Speaker 1:Like you can. You can not like or like. Love the idea of that, but you still, as a therapist, need to be supportive of them. You know that you don't have to be supportive of like every decision. The decision, but you need to be supportive of them and support them.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So, and I don't know, like, if it's a safety issue, like it's like her dad was not safe, then that's a whole different thing, I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You know, Well, this sounds like the therapist kind of made her feel like she should connect with her dad and she didn't want to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's, I mean, up to her completely. I don't think she should feel any pressure to or not to, and I mean I don't think that she should feel pressure to like forgive him either, like she'll have to do that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know yeah for sure. Like you can't. It's not something you can be forced into. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And I was kind of like when I think of a therapist, like I don't know if I want, I don't know, you don't know, you know I mean they never, been to the therapist. She go to the therapist, but I don't think you know just the idea of them being like giving me vibes of in that situation that they have an opinion on what I should be doing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, it kind of feels weird.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it does.
Speaker 2:Okay, thank you, jamie. I don't know about any of my guests. You asked about my guests. I don't know Me forgiving someone. No, I feel like I'm pretty like I move on pretty quick from like situations and like try to separate myself from like the negative, like feelings of, say, like somebody's given me you know what I mean Like kind of pull myself out of the situation. Oh, I mean, I'm sure there's people in my life that I have trouble forgiving, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I can't think of.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I also have trouble sometimes actually like what is forgiving someone? Like what you know what I mean, like yeah. Okay, I forgive this person, okay.
Speaker 2:Wait. So to me it's like kind of wiping the slate clean and allowing yourself to allow them back in fully. You know what I mean. Like back into your life just into your emotional like, yeah, into your life, like with open arms like you had before and not like guarded, you know.
Speaker 1:Interesting Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, timmy, that's how.
Speaker 3:I feel yeah.
Speaker 2:Because I feel like you can say I forgive you and then still like, not really like want them in your life, and then I don't really think you've fully forgiven them. Yeah, yeah, do you feel like people need to forgive other people. I don't know. I mean, I feel like everybody's different. That's like we've said that quite a bit, but it's like, if you are the type of person to dwell on things like, you might have to try to figure it out, because that might be the only thing that keep you from dwelling on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what I mean. If you're like me, just move on and you know like once you're out, you've removed yourself, things will start to get better and you won't even think about it anymore, like, but I think we all deal with that type of shit like differently. Yeah, yeah, sure.
Speaker 3:All right.
Speaker 2:I'm going to let you read this one. This is kind of a long one, thanks. Starts with hey Mason.
Speaker 1:Hey, mason is Rebecca, long time listener. I had the most amazing family vacation experience recently and, knowing that you're married and understand family dynamics, I thought I'd share and get your take on it. Three months in. Yeah, my family and I went for a camping, a weekend camping trip in the Virginia Mountains, a spot we love. I pride myself on planning these trips, so imagine my surprise when we pulled into our campground and saw signs advertising a 420 festival. I had unintentionally booked our family weekend during a cannabis celebration. Oh, what A cannabis celebration. Woo, that phrase makes me laugh. Well, I had my while. I had my fair share of rebellious days. Back in high school. I had no clue about the significance of 420. The campground was buzzing with festival goers. They were tense, selling cannabis related souvenirs and their aroma and grilled food mingled with the scent of pot.
Speaker 2:Oh, what pot yeah.
Speaker 1:As a fun side note, it reminded me of my dad and ex hippie. I had to break it down from my 11 year old who loudly proclaimed you mean, they're all on drugs. My youngest and eight year old thought it was some kind of fair and was excited about the pretty lights and psychedelic projections. The only hiccup was a band that played some not so kid friendly songs. But we take it in stride. I turn into it, turned into a memorable experience, albeit different from what we had envisioned for our family vacation. What would you and your wife have done in this unexpected situation?
Speaker 2:I don't know if we can answer this. We don't have to. We would probably hang out.
Speaker 1:People are great writers. Shit, I don't know Hypothetically, if we did it?
Speaker 2:I would not. You know, we've been to a lot of music festivals and it's like I would not take my children to that, you know.
Speaker 1:So an 11 year old, 11 year old and an eight year old.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, because I feel like our kids will know that we like going to music festivals.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But it's like I feel like I would have to just like kind of explain to them that you know, it's kind of something that you do as an older person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know, I don't know what. Do you think he would have stayed like no when he pulled in?
Speaker 2:I would have tried to find another campground. Yeah, I would have told my kids that it's not age appropriate. I don't know, I'm pretty big. I let to go on tangent about nothing, I know. So I like the idea of talking to your kids like an adult.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know what I?
Speaker 3:mean.
Speaker 2:And whether that's very practical, whether I'm naive about how easy that is to do. I'm just saying, like you know, I don't want to like hide it from them and then them always be wondering like what the fuck was that? And then like build this like giant snowball of, like curiosity about it, and then they're fucking yeah, yeah, I mean I think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think I would have wanted to stay.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That just doesn't sound fun as a parent, like that would be so stressful, like because you want to enjoy yourself. But you also know like so worried about them all the time. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And just like, what is this experience doing for my kid? Yeah, like, on the server's level it might look like nothing, but you know, when it comes down the line like, what is it doing?
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know yeah.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I love festivals.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no judgment if you take your kids to festivals.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've seen like little like three year olds on piggyback and with like headphones and I'm like walking through a crowd of like.
Speaker 1:It's so funny.
Speaker 2:We'd smoke and like just loose titties, you know, and you're like oh sure, and then there's a baby Child.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's weird.
Speaker 2:Teach your own, but it's not my vibe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would just feel so stressed the whole time worrying about them. Yeah, yeah, I think we would.
Speaker 2:I mean, I feel like for other festival girls when you see a child you're like, oh, like.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you feel like you have to like.
Speaker 2:Kind of straighten up, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:It was a very weird thing to be at a festival and to see a child.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it always makes me think like, like I would love to do like a year and like travel around like a van or something. But the people that do it with kids, oh my God, how hard that would be. No, always my mind and just like trying to make sure they had an adequate education throughout that. Yeah, how do they?
Speaker 1:do that.
Speaker 2:It's home school. It's home school in the van. Yeah, wherever they park now.
Speaker 3:Not cut out for that.
Speaker 2:Most of them have buses. If you have family, I mean the van's like super small, but Still, yeah, yeah, teach them around.
Speaker 1:I mean, if you could do that, that's awesome, yeah, but Sounds tough though. No, I can never. Yeah, I don't think I could ever home school.
Speaker 2:No, no, no. No, no, my mask goes, I mean I think that it'll be interesting, you know, if we have kids just trying to get them the practical knowledge, like I feel, like sometimes parents feel like school is like a break from their kid, Just like you know yeah you want them to come out of school with some usable fucking knowledge.
Speaker 2:You know, we were talking to Amber the other day, one of our friends, and she was explaining to us about her friend. That's an engineer, blah blah, and that engineer she was. Like, I never do any of the math that I learned in high school and she's a fucking engineer. So you know yeah you know like. So it's like we get a. That's that's kind of be something for me and I want to make sure that our kids are getting like a practical education, not just school system.
Speaker 2:You know I feel like that's tough for every parent.
Speaker 1:But yeah for sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's. I think I would want to leave and go somewhere else.
Speaker 2:Yeah for sure, In fact you just have a family time, because I feel like once you're there, like your family time is not going to be. It's going to be a little bit segmented between you just being worried about your kids and you know yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, all right, I'm going to ask you what the question that I ask everybody before they leave.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Very kid. Yes, I said. If you could be somebody else, dead or alive for a 24 hour period, who would you be and why? I think I know what.
Speaker 1:You think you know, yeah, that's a hard one Anyone. Anyone If I could be anyone dead or alive.
Speaker 2:Dead or alive for 24 hours. You don't get to change the life, you just get to experience it.
Speaker 1:This is going to make me sound really very basic, but I don't care. I would like to be Taylor Swift.
Speaker 3:I knew it For Monday.
Speaker 1:I knew it Because, okay, hear me out, though she's on tour right now.
Speaker 2:Blonde of Artisare.
Speaker 1:Okay, listen.
Speaker 2:She's on tour, she's on the.
Speaker 1:Ares tour, Can you? I think it would be so cool to just be her for a day and to experience what she's experiencing now on the tour. Like, can you imagine going out to all these sold out 70,000, 80,000 people Fucking awful. And like experiencing what she experiences like every day pretty much yeah.
Speaker 2:It would be awesome.
Speaker 1:I would hate to live like that, but I think, just you know, getting to experience that, I think would be pretty cool.
Speaker 3:So Super basic, I know.
Speaker 2:I knew that was what you were going to say, but anyways yeah. Thank you, my lovely wife, for being a part of the podcast. Finally, I had to put a ring on it to get her on the podcast. I guess we will see you all next time. This has been the GardenFresh podcast. Bye, bye.
Speaker 3:Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.